The First Time
by sherlockedbyben
Summary: "The first time Clara caught the Doctor crying, she thought her eyes must be deceiving her. Because the Doctor doesn't cry, the Doctor never cries." A series of one-shots involving the sixth Doctor and Clara Oswald, showing a more vulnerable side of the harsh Time Lord.
1. Chapter 1

**Heeey guys I just thought I'd write a series of short one-shots surrounding the sixth Doctor and Clara :) It's not really mainly romance, although I might put a bit of romance in there in another chapter but idk, it's just the sixth Doctor was a bit of a prat and got a lot of hate and I feel that there was a deeper side to him. Hiding a lot of pain and stuff ya know? I just lovee him =D**

**By the way, that quote from the story that's in the summary is not in this chapter, it'll be in the next one, this one is just kind of explaining background details :)**

**So here's a couple of one-shots about how I'd imagine he feels and stuff :) Enjoy!**

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The first time Clara met this particular version of the Doctor, the words prat, obnoxious and jerk came to mind.

She had been travelling with the Eleventh incarnation when something apparently "Timey Wimey" had occured and she had ended up stuck in his sixth regeneration's time stream. Stumbling into his old fashioned, white themed Tardis on the first day she had met him was daunting to say the least, especially when she first locked eyes with the slightly startled looking young man standing beside the console.

She soon came to realise that his personality was a stark contrast to his bright, multicoloured coat.

"You," He pointed a finger at her almost accusingly with a look of heavy suspicion in his deep blue eyes. "How did you get in?"

"I, uh," Clara struggled t her feet, slightly lost for words and put off by the unwlecome tone in the Doctor's voice. At the time, she wasn't even sure if this _was_ the Doctor. It certainly wasn't the Time Lord she knew. "Um, you're the Doctor, right?"

"Yes, last time I checked," The Doctor frowned haughtily, not making any move to approach closer. "I have been the Doctor for over 900 years now and I don't plan on changing that. What do you think you're doing in _my_ Tardis?"

"Well, I don't suppose you'd like to make me a cup of tea would you?" Clara tried jokingly in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. "It's a bit of a long story, and I'm hoping you can help me understand what exactly is going on, 'cause I'm not completely sure myself."

"Oh, bog off!" The Doctor grumbled, turning away and tapping at the controls on the Tardis, much to Clara's shock and slight dismay. "As if you could understand the logic I could try to explain to you."

"I'm capable of understanding a lot more than you'd think," Clara folded her arms and gave the curly haired Time Lord a challenging glare.

"Oh, please," The Doctor scoffed, not even bothering to look at her as he fiddled with the Tardis controls. "I have almost one thousand years of knowledge of space and time that you could not even begin to comprehend. A small, young human like you, how old are you, merely thirty?"

"I'm twenty five!"

Clara reflected on her first moments with that Doctor, the Doctor she had been trapped with for some time now. Though she was sure that the pretentious Time Lord had not even looked at her properly before making such a fleeting judgement, she had still found a mirror as soon as possible to check for grey hairs. Finding none, she realised that he was simply a jerk, trying to wind her up for his own amusment.

At first she had hated it, living in this Tardis with this Doctor, the alien and herself had clashed more often than not and he always assumed that she wouldn't understand what he was trying to explain, parading around with an air of cockyness. But more recently, Clara and the Doctor had begun to get along. His attitude towards her softened a bit, and he made her smile. She realised that this was the Doctor, whether she liked it or not, and maybe his sharp tongue didn't appeal to most people, but Clara was well able for that challenge.

The first time he had shown that he really cared for her somewhat was when they had endured a narrow escape from the Sontarans, escaping from the ship just before it erupted into a vicious explosion. Clara remembered trembling slightly, partly from fear at nearly being killed, and partly at the shock of watching thousands of Sontarans die. She knew she should be glad, but her compassionate heart told her that even though the Sontarans were not good people, they didn't deserve to die.

Watching the ship explode from the open Tardis doors as they stayed suspended in space, she felt the Doctor's arms wrap around her gently, almost cautiously. Unthinkingly, she buried her head in his chest, welcoming the contact and feeling better almost instantly.

"I'm... Sorry," The Doctor mumbled quietly against her hair, sounding as if apologising was not one of his stronger traits. "It had to be done. It was either them or us, and I couldn't let you die."

Clara fought back the tears that threatened to spill, the Doctor's suddenly compassionate tone almost causing her to get choked up. She missed the eleventh Doctor, but she was beginning to care for this Doctor just as much. After all, he was still the same man.

"Thank you," She murmured, looking up into his eyes momentraily, surprised to see that they no longer held any hostility or coldness. He nodded curtly, mouth set in a hard line. Clara smiled at him, poking a finger at the corners of his mouth in a comic attempt to make him smile. He let out a sigh of exasperation and rolled his eyes, but his lips turned upwards in an amused smile all the same, and it lit up his face like Clara had never seen before. making her feel warm inside and causing her heart to flutter.

Of course, life after that was not all hugs and smiles, but Clara felt much closer to the Doctor than she had ever felt before, though he still became irritated at her sometimes, as she did with his behaviour at her. Though she felt mostly angry at herself, was it her fault that he became annoyed at her? Was it something she had said or done? Sometimes she was sure he just hated her.

The first time the Doctor stunned her into silence was when she had wandered into the control room with a slight scowl, not in the best of moods. The Doctor had mocked her cooking skills,_ "My dear, Clara, I wouldn't be surprised if you could burn water," _and she had been adamant to prove him wrong by baking the best soufflé there was, the perfect soufflé. Of course, things had not gone the way she had planned and she ended up wearing a layer of flour and a disappointed frown. She gave an annoyed huff as she paced the room. She had just wanted to prove something to him.

"As if you could bake a soufflé," She grumbled as she stalked across the room, speaking to herself more than anything.

"Hmm?" The Doctor looked up from the console with a curious expression. "What was that?"

"Nothing," Clara sighed, plopping herself down on the seat beside the Tardis as she watched the Doctor fiddle with the controls. It was intriguing to watch him pilot his ship, she enjoyed seeing him so passionate about something. He loved his Tardis, though she had witnessed him kick the console before when the desktop theme changed to something he didn't like. To be perfectly honest, Clara had quite liked the pink and purple flowers decorating the walls. She had laughed as the Doctor attempted to change it back to plain white.

She snapped out of her reverie and looked to the Doctor again.

The Time Lord stayed quiet, seemingly engrossed in his work at the Tardis console, but Clara soon realised that his mind was elsewhere. She leaned forward slightly, chin propped up on her hand as she watched him intently. His eyebrows were furrowed as if waging an inward battle with himself, his expression conflicted and his eyes looking at the controls on the panels but not really seeing them. Clara waited, knowing that he would speak in his own time and that it was not good to rush him.

After several minutes, which felt like an eternity to Clara, he spoke.

"Clara," He began in a tone that was almost unsure. He paused, hands gripping the edge of the console tightly and very determindly not looking at her.

When he did not continue, Clara opened her mouth to respond quesiontingly but was cut off by the Time Lord's sudden question.

"Why don't you like me?"

For the first time, Clara was rendered speechless. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again, unknowing as to what to say and not expecting this question to come from the usually overly confident Time Lord. He still refused to look at her, staring at the console with hurt in his eyes.

"Doctor, what..." Clara began, standing up and walking over to him. "What do you mean? What's brought this on?"

"Oh, don't be dim," He scoffed, but his voice held none of the usual malice. "I _know_ it's something to do with me. Ever since I regenerated, people haven't wanted to be around me. I know I can be a bit... Harsh at times, but," The Doctor swallowed, closing his eyes shut tightly and clutching the console so hard that his knuckles turned white. "Am I really so wrong? So undeserving of friendship? So unfixable? So... So _wrong._"

Clara felt her heart ache painfully at the Doctor's tone, so full of hurt and angst. She found that it hurt her, hurt her to see him drowing in self doubt and fear. He looked vunerable, and that was something she was not accostumed to.

She reached out a hand timidly and covered the Doctor's hand with her own slightly shaking one. She just wanted to hold his hand and tell him that he had got it wrong, that everything was okay. She wnated to let him know that though they had had their ups and downs, she considered him to be _her_ Doctor.

"Doctor..." She began quietly, trying to pry his hand away from the console where it stayed firmly. She sighed, hurt that he still wouldn't look at her, staring anywhere but at her face.

"Doctor, look at me," She voiced sternly at the unresponding Time Lord. She reached up a hand and touched his face gently, turning him towards her. He obliged, having given up fighting and allowed her to look into his deep, blue eyes filled with sadness and loss.

"I just wanted to know," The Doctor's voice shook slightly. "Why- Why am I like this, if all I do is push people away?"

"Doctor," Clara ran a hand down his cheek gently, feeling tears threaten to prick her own eyes, hating seeing the Doctor look so helpless. "Why would you think I don't like you?"

"You prefered my other self, I can tell. Everyone doe-"

"Oi," Clara interrupted him sternly, straightening up as tall as she could make herself seem. "You're still the Doctor, aren't you?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"Exactly! You're the Doctor," Clara looked into his eyes firmly, willing him to understand what she was saying. "And maybe at first, I thought you were a bit of an obnoxious prat," The Doctor opened his mouth to object but Clara shushed him, a smile playing around her lips. "But I reminded myself that you're still the Doctor, and I can see that you have a softer side to you behind all that coldness. I really care about you, Doctor. You're still the Doctor, whatever the face."

The Doctor's face lightened slightly, looking thoughtful. "But-"

"I thought you hated me!" Clara exclaimed, the thought coming to her suddenly. "You were so rude to me at first, I thought it was something I'd done wrong! Something you didn't like about me! And I'm pretty brilliant," She winked jokingly, but she held a hint of seriousness in her tone.

"You thought I didn't care about you?"

The Doctor shook his head slowly as he came to terms with her sudden outburst.

"Clara I know I can be... A bit much to handle sometimes," He admitted almost sheepishly. "But I don't go out of my way to make you feel inferior..." He gave a small shrug. "At least if I do, I don't really mean it. Well, after I don't."

Clara rolled her eyes with a small chuckle as the Doctor continued.

"But I'm sorry," He looked at the ground with a slight frown. "Because there's nothing wrong with you Clara. You're one of the most brilliant and impossible people I have ever met."

Clara felt a smile spread across her face at his words and a warm feeling fluttered in her stomach. Before she realised what she was doing, she threw her arms around the Doctor's neck and embraced him in a tight hug.

"Oh," The Doctor stiffened instantly. "Um, Clara-"

"Shut up and hug me, Rainbow Man," Clara amost growled as she held onto him tightly, burying her face in his chest and showing no signs of letting go.

She felt the Doctor heave a sigh and smiled when his arms wrapped around her, holding her close to him.

"You're not just the Doctor. You're my Doctor," Clara whispered, knowing that those truthful words would clear up anymore doubt the Doctor had about her wanting to be around him.

The Doctor didn't reply, just rested his chin on her head gently, but that small gesture meant more than words. He made her happy, and she knew that if she grabbed his face and pushed the corners of his lips upwards, she could make him smile too.

For the first time, Clara felt complete.

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**Hope you liked that guys :) I'm thinking of writing more chapters on this, if you want? No real plot, just short one shots and drabbles like this :)**

**Anyone interested? If you want, leave a review to let me know what you think and if I should write more :)**

**Thank you guys!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Heeey guys, here's the next chapter :) Filled with feels :o I'm so glad some of you showed an interest and liked the story, I just think the sixth Doctor needs some love :)**

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The first time Clara found the Doctor crying, she thought her eyes must be decieving her. Because the Doctor doesn't cry. The Doctor _never_ cries.

But here he was now, sitting on the bank of a shimmering river on a foreign planet that he had taken Clara to. Being Clara, of course she had wandered off for a while to do her own bit of exploring, taking in the breathtaking views of the silver mountains and golden leaved trees. The Doctor had been right, this was one of the most beautiful planets there was. Almost as important and significant as himself, he'd said.

She gasped in surprise as she made her way back to the Tardis and saw the Doctor sitting on the river bank nearby. She had yet to make her precense known, the grieving Time Lord seemed to be oblivious to what was happening around him. She felt her heart breaking at the sight of him, no longer the confident, bossy man she knew, now reminding her of a frightened child.

She almost wasn't sure if she should say anything to alert him that she was there, was half afraid that he would snap at her. But she couldn't leave him like this. He was in pain, and she had to help him. Had to save him, even if it was just from himself.

She took a deep breath to steady herself, becoming aware of the wetness on her cheeks from her own tears that had spilled over. She frowned at herself, feeling ashamed for crying but unable to prevent the tears from flowing.

"Doctor?" She called cautiously, wiping away her tears quickly and approaching.

The Doctor jumped, looking startled and glanced away from her, not meeting her eyes. He stared out at the slowly trickling water, arms wrapped around his knees as if trying to hold himself together. He barely made a sound as Clara moved to sit down next to him, the tears flowing silently down his face, marred by pain and sorrow. His breath came in short, quiet gasps as he attempted to control himself.

"I..." He trailed off as Clara placed a hand on his arm comfortingly, struggling not to cry herself. She had to be strong for him. She had to let him know that whatever it was that was bothering him, she was there for him. She cared about him more than he knew, not that'd she'd openly admit to that. He'd never let her hear the end of it.

"Clara, just go, please," The Doctor croaked out, his voice cracking. "You don't have to..."

"Doctor, whatever it is, you don't have to go through it alone," Clara spoke softly, wanting desperately to embrace him but slightly worried that he would push her away. This Doctor was extremely unpredictable. "I'm not leaving you, not now, not ever."

"But they all leave," The Doctor let out a sob. "Everyone I allow myself to care for. They find something better, or they just don't want to travel with me anymore. And the one's I couldn't save..." The Doctor trailed off, unable to speak as he sobbed uncontrollably. "A-Adric. I couldn't- I- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Clara wrapped her arms around the Doctor's quievering frame and held him as the sobs wracked his body. She attempted to hold back the traitor tears that threatened to spill over but found she was unable to. She just couldn't bear to see her Doctor hurt.

"Why do they all leave?" He whispered through gritted teeth, shaking as he sobbed. "Why do I cause hurt and pain wherever I go? Chaos, that's all I cause. Chaos!"

"But I wouldn't have it any other way, my Rainbow Man," Clara smiled, running a hand through his soft blond curls. "Who said anything was bad about chaos, eh?"

"The Time Lord's don't fancy it much," The Doctor scoffed with a scowl, struggling to control his sobs. "And neither do I, not when it hurts people at least! Not anymore, no more..."

The Time Lord flinched as if in pain, squeezing his eyes shut with a grimace as more sobs washed over him. Clara wrapped her arms around him as best she could and laid her head on his trembling shoulder.

"I'm here for you, Doc."

"What did I tell you about calling me _Doc?_"

Clara laughed lightly at the Doctor's annoyed huff and let his comment slide. They sat in silence for a moment as Clara wondered fruitlessly what she could say to make him feel better. For the first time, she felt unbearably helpless, unable to ease the pain of the man she cared about more than anything.

"Clara?"

The Doctor's voice shook slightly as he broke the silence. Clara pulled back slightly to look at him, though he continued staring adamantly at the river in front of them. The Time Lord took a deep, shuddering breath.

"Do you recall that time you told me my future self referred to you as the impossible girl?"

"Quite well, yeah," Clara's voice held only a hint of aggitation, as looking back on the Doctor's rude response to her statment didn't bother her anymore, not like it had at the time.

"And I said that the only thing impossible about you was your ability to be so infuriatingly dense without having had any special training in the subject of stupidity?"

"Yes, Doctor, and I called you an obnoxious prat and stormed off to make a soufflé."

"Oh yes. It took ages to get rid of the smell of burning."

"Oi, leave my soufflé alone!" Clara grinned. She paused thougthfully, wondering about the Doctor's sudden choice of conversation. "So, impossible girl topic you brought up?"

The Doctor paused with a frown, his breathing becoming more even as his sobs began to subside.

"I... Was wrong to say that. Well, partially wrong-Ow!" He shot Clara glare as she whacked his arm playfully. "But you are impossible. You're impossible for being able to put up with me, quite frankly I don't see why you do. I'm just a broken man who breaks everything he touches," He continued before Clara could protest against his judment of himself, still not used to witnessing him being so negative about himself.

"So thank you, Clara. My impossible girl."

The Doctor pulled her closer to him, kissing her hair gently and resting his head on hers. Clara smiled and snuggled in closer, quite pleased with his sudden unexpected show of affection.

"S'nice to know I'm appreciated, Doc.. Doctor!" Clara corrected herself with a light laugh beofre the fussy Time Lord could protest at her choice of nickname. "Thank you too. And I meant what I said before."

"About what?" The Doctor sighed lightly, his arms remaining securely around Clara as if afraid that if he let her go, she would disappear. She had to admit that she was enjoying being so close to him and had no intention of leaving his embrace.

"About not leaving. Cause I'm not, you know. You're stuck with me, Time Boy."

The Doctor mumbled a swift, "Thank you," into her hair and held her tighter. Clara closed her eyes, content in the knowledge that the Doctor needed her as much as she needed him. The thought of ever leaving him filled her stomach with dread, twisting her insides with fear and sadness. She wanted to live in the present, with him.

They sat together for how long Clara didn't know, the silence may have even lulled her to sleep at one point, asleep in the arms of her Doctor. Her broken Doctor.

Standing there now in the Tardis control room, Clara watched the Doctor as he babbled on about foreign planets and cultures, trying and seemingly failing to repair part of the machine.

"Doctor, swearing at the console isn't going to help you fix it," Clara chastised with a roll of her eyes.

"Swearing? Me? Never," The Doctor replied haughtily, scrunching up his nose at her words and giving the console a firm whack of his fist.

"I may not be able to speak Gallifreyan, but I know a string of profanities when I here one."

The Doctor muttered something unintelligible under his breath which sounded to Clara a lot like "That's because you are a string of blasted profanities," to which Clara laughed lightly and let the comment slide. She was used to dealing with his attitude.

It was late, Clara could tell. There was never really any proper aspect of time while travelling in the Tardis, but Clara's natural body clock told her that sleep was due. She was reluctant to sleep yet though,enjoying watching the Doctor at work. It was fascinating the way he worked the machine, bounding around the console, his silly colourful coat billowing around him.

Clara wasn't sure how much sleep Time Lords needed, she had never even seen the Doctor sleep, come to think of it, but something about his current weary expression told her that he was in dire need of a proper rest. She studied his face carefully, able to see the sadness from earlier still present in his eyes, though he put on a cheerful charade.

"Doctor, go to sleep," She stated loudly, anticipating the narky response from the rude Time Lord.

The Doctor striaghtened up and looked at Clara with an expression of disbelief mixed with brief annoyance. Clara could swear she saw a hint of amusement in his eye aswell.

"Go to _sleep?_ Of all the confounded arrogance! My body doesn't require as must rest as yours, you know, being superior and all that."

The Time Lord ignored Clara's indignant hum and continued briskly. "I'm a Time Lord, Clara, I don't need _sleep_," The Doctor scoffed, turning back to the Tardis console.

"Sorry, Your Highness, but I happen to know that even arrogant Time Lords need sleep," Clara teased with a grin, striding over to the Doctor and placing a hand on his arm softly. The Doctor sighed tiredly at her touch, closing his eyes briefly.

"I need to finish fixing the scanners," He murmured, though he spoke with an exhausted tone.

"Yeah, you do, _tomorrow," _Clara smiled softly, tugging on his arm slightly. She felt partly responsible for the unsensible Time Lord, knowing that if she didn't send him off to bed himself, he'd never get any sleep. "Come on, chop chop!"

The Doctor gave her a teasing glare but put his hands up briefly.

"All right, I surrender."

Clara grinned, following the Doctor down the Tardis corridors until turning off into her room. She paused at her door, peeking out at the Doctor's retreating form, making sure he didn't try to run back into the control room like a mischievious child. Satisfied that he had disappeared off to his room of sorts, she dressed for bed, welcoming the comfort of the soft quilt.

It didn't take her long to reailse that sleep would not come easy that night. She tossed and turned, even tried counting sheep, to her shame. No matter what she did, every time she closed her eyes she saw the haunting pain in the Doctor's eyes and couldn't stop thinking about the loss he had suffered, the companions he had lost. He had mentioned a name... Adric? The name was unfamiliar to Clara but she couldn't help wondering what had happened to him.

She began to feel slight fear knawing at her insides. Whenever she overthought like this, she nearly always had nightmares about her past lives due to her brain going into overdrive. Though she could not remember them, flashes came to her in her dreams sometimes, and they were nearly always terrifying. That was one the thing she always remembered, the fear.

She sat up in her bed quickly, attempting to calm her rapid breathing.

"I'm not them, they're me but I'm not them," She squeezed her eyes shut and clutched her arms around her knees as she repeated the mantra. "I'm me, here, now, _safe_."

After a few moments she untangled herself from the stifling quilt covers and hopped off the edge of her bed. She felt ashamed for her sudden moment of panic, knowing that she was safe now. She padded over to the door, peering out into the empty corridor slowly, deciding that a leisurely stroll around the Tardis would do her good. Maybe she'd even run into the Doctor. She hoped he was asleep, getting some well needed rest, but another part of her wanted him to be awake, to hold her and soothe her and let her know that she was safe and would never have to leave. Leaving him scared her more than any nightmare ever could.

She walked down the silent corridors softly, trying not to make too much noise. She soon realised that this had been a mistake.

"Dammit," She muttered angrily, spinning around in a full circle and realising that she recognised none of her surroundings. "Had to get lost, didn't I?" She looked up at the ceiling and fixed it with a glare, addressing the Tardis. "Why'd you hate me so much, eh? Flipping snogbox."

The ship did not respond to her, giving her the silent treatment. Clara huffed angrily, beginning to feel tiredness wash over her as she continued walking, wishing for her bed. The only sound in the near silent ship was the gentle hum of the engine on standby and..

Clara stiffened, holding her breath and straining to hear better. Was that someone crying?

Clara's eyes widened in shock as she followed the stifled sound, hoping to find the source. She came to a door, painted Tardis blue and slighty ajar. Clara held her breath and pushed it open slightly, peeking in.

She had never been in the Doctor's room before, she had almost begun to doubt that he even had a room since she never saw him sleeping. He didn't seem to be sleeping now.

His back was to her, and though she couldn't see his face, this was the most vulnerable she had ever seen the Doctor. He lay curled up on his side, the bed covers thrown haphazardly around his shaking form as he cried softly.

Clara felt her heart ache as she walked over to him shakily.

"Go, Clara."

The voice was choked, a pained sob escaping the speakers lips as he uttered the two words.

"No."

Clara's voice came out stronger than she had expected even though her eyes were now brimming with tears. She wiped them away quickly though her heart was breaking for her Doctor and the sadness that was engulfing him.

She paused momentarily, unsure of what the Doctor would think about what she was going to do. _Oh, what the hell,_ she thought, deciding to be brave.

She gave the Time Lord a small shove closer to the wall and daringly hopped into the bed beside him, scooting closer so that she was pressed up against his back. She reached out an arm timidly and draped it across the Doctor's torso, feeling one of his hearts beating under her palm.

The Doctor stiffened at her unexpected gesture, his sobs stopping for a moment in his surprise.

"Clara, what-"

"Shhhh," Clara murmured, pressing his face into his back as he shook slightly with small sobs.

The Doctor paused, then reached up with his hand to hold hers gently before turning around to face her, still keeping a hold of her hand. He closed his eyes, his breathing ragged.

"I'm sorry."

"You've nothing to apologise for," Clara gave his hand a light squeeze, scooting even closer so that their entertwined hands were pressed tightly between their bodies.

"I just..." The Doctor trailed off quietly, opening his eyes and looking at Clara in a way that made her heart flutter. "I've lost so many, Clara. And I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either," Clara whispered, feeling a tear escape from the corner of her eyes. "But I won't, right? You're not going to send me away? Cause whatever happens, I'm staying with you, Doctor, I-"

"Clara, I can't promise that I can keep you safe," The Doctor clutched her hand tighter. "I would do anything to keep you safe of course, but whenever you're with me, you're in danger. If anything ever happened to you-"

"Then it would be my fault, not yours," Clara stated firmly. The Doctor shook his head witrh a dark look in his eyes.

"It could be my fault, _would_ be my fault. If anything ever did happen to you, I would be to blame, because... Because if you'd never met me then you would have been safe!"

"If I'd never met you, my life would be utterly boring," Clara managed a watery smile. The Doctor managed a light, slightly choked laugh through his subsiding sobs and reached out to wipe a tear from her cheek.

"Why are you crying?" He questioned, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Because I don't like seeing you sad," Clara removed her hand from his hold and wiped away her remaining tears fiercely.

The Doctor heaved a sigh, sorrow still apparent in his eyes. Clara reached up slowly, almost cautiously to touch his face lightly. He closed his eyes at her touch, allowing more tears to fall. Clara stroked his face gently, wiping the rest of his tears away. She caressed his face softly as his sobs subsided and his breathing became more even.

"Thank you," The Doctor murmured, stroking her hair softly before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to him. He kissed her forehead gently as Clara smiled and just before she closed her eyes, she saw his lips curve upwards in return. Clara knew that he was going to be alright, and as long as she was with him, she'd be alright too.

"Goodnight, Doctor," Clara lay her head on his chest, being lulled to sleep by the twin heart beats of her Doctor.

"Goodnight, my Clara."

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**Oooooh so what did you think? :) Think I should continue writing one shots for these two? If you want, leave a review to let me know if you liked it :) Even if it's just constructive criticism, it'd make my day!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ayyyy thank you guys so much for reviewing, I didn't think people would even read it let alone like it! :D **

**Just to clear up some things, the Clara is this story is the real Clara, not an echo, I think I mentioned that she travelled with the Eleventh Doctor at the start of the first chapter :P It's just that someone reviewed mentioning what might happen when she died saving him, but this is the actual Clara Oswald so she won't :P Well, not unless I do some Moffat-Like plot twist or something but naa, that'd be too sad :) I'm not that evil ;;)**

**Anyway, I hope you like this chapter! Not as angsty this time, bit more fluffly :) I didn't originally plan to make this into a romance between the two but then I got this idea and just had to run with it :P Enjoy anyway and review if you want, constructive criticism is always welcome!**

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"Androgubbles?!" Clara yelped, rushing through the opening as the Doctor slammed the metal door behind them firmly.

"_Androgums_, Clara, oh do listen, will you?" The Doctor replied haughtily, running a hand through his soft blond curls in annoyance and beginning to pace the room.

"Right," Clara panted, struggling to regain her breath. "Barcelona, Doctor! You promised me Barcelona! I wanted to see the dogs with no noses, not be chased around by some cannibalistic humanoids!"

"Got a bit side tracked," The Doctor mumbled, scanning the room for an escape route. "Bit of an unfortunate shame we ran into the Androgums, I know I'm attractive but good enough to eat? Not my cup of tea at all."

"What happened to the saying, "too good to eat"?" Clara grumbled at the Time Lord's self absorbed remark. She still missed the Eleventh version of the Doctor sometimes, the eccentric chinboy, he wasn't as mad as this one was and didn't have half as much of a short fuse, but this Doctor was special. This was her Doctor, she had decided, though the first time she had referred to him as that he'd gotten annoyed. _**"Yours? It's not as if you bought me, I'd be far too expensive for you to purchase."**_She had refused to be put off though, and he'd eventually accepted her name for him. She hadn't forgotten the times he'd called her _**"My Clara," **_either.

She smiled at the memory, despite the dire situation they were currently in. She wrapped her arms tighter around her as a slight chill ran through her bones. The temperature was dropping rapidly.

"Doctor, it's getting awfully cold," She ground out through chattering teeth, eyeing his bright rainbow coat appreciatively.

"Oh, the lack of oxygen will kill us before the cold does," The Doctor stated almost nonchalantly then paused, noting Clara's stricken expression at his words with realisation. "Ah."

"I'd rather not die here, Doctor!" Clara shivered, staring around the room for some sort of hidden exit. To her dismay, it seemed the only way out of dying of asphyxiation was to leave the way they had come in and be eaten by the waiting Androgums outside the door. "Why are they trying to kill us?!"

"Oh it's not the Androgums, they prefer to cook and prepare their food themselves. It's the vessel we're in now. This ship is dying and it's last resort to defense is to get rid of us by killing us, very clever, advanced technology-"

"Doctor, talk later, plan now!" Clara gasped, finding it harder to breath.

"Oh, right," The Doctor shrugged off his coat quickly, draping it around her shoulders. Clara managed a grateful smile, unwilling to use up too much of her remaining breath by talking.

The Doctor began to feel along the wall, letting out a joyous exclamation as he found a hand hold and tugged. A fragment of metal plating came away, revealing a short lever.

"Hold on, Clara," He panted as he pushed the lever up and down as rapidly as he could, the lack of oxygen and introduction of another toxic gas beginning to take effect on him. "Just don't breathe too much, but remember to breath."

Clara snorted at his words of advice. Her lungs ached with exertion but she adamantly crawled over to him, gasping for breath as her airwaves closed up. She struggled not to panic, knowing that would only worsen her situation. Her lightheadedness was beginning to fog her vision and soon the Doctor was merely a multicoloured blur. She tried to call out to him, but blackness quickly took over.

She awoke slowly, her body feeling leaden, unable and unwilling to open her heavy eyelids. A numb, dull pain was settling into her head, but she was almost too tired to take much notice of it. She gradually became aware of gentle hands stroking her face and hair softly, her brain momentarily unable to comprehend who it must be. It suddenly clicked that the familiar touch must be the Doctor, who else would it be? She wanted to pretend to be asleep for a while longer, just so he would keep caressing her face gently as she knew he would most likely stop when he knew she was awake.

"Feeling better?"

His smooth voice sounded from behind her, his warm breath tickling her ear and causing her heart to flutter at his close proximity. She smiled, despite herself, of course the Doctor would notice that she was awake. She hoped he couldn't also notice the way he affected her, the way her heart rate accelerated when he was near, like it did now. She had tried so hard to deny her feelings for this Doctor for fear of getting hurt when he didn't feel the same way, but she was finding it increasingly difficult.

She let out a soft sigh and opened her eyes, disappointment washing over her as his hands left her face just like she had presumed they would once he was aware that she was awake. She blinked, realsing that she was slumped in a chair in the Tardis console room and sat up straighter, wincing at the sudden throbbing pain in her head.

"Not bad, considering I was just asphyxiated," She groaned, holding a hand to her head and squeezing her eyes shut. "Not my idea of fun by the way."

"I'll mark that for future reference," The amused smile was evident in the Doctor's voice.

"Why- Why does my head hurt so much?" Clara murmured, her voice coming out as a soft whimper despite her efforts to make it strong. She felt tears prick her eyes, not expecting the pain to be so intense.

"You collapsed due to lack of oxygen and began to inhale a gas that's toxic to humans, you're lucky you escaped with just a headache," The Doctor chided her lightly. Clara let out a small involuntary moan as the pain increased slightly.

"Here," The Doctor took her hands from her face and set them in her lap gently. He touched her temple softly where the headache was strongest and pressed lightly.

"Ow!"

"Just checking," He grinned at Clara's astonished glare. "Trust me, it would be worse if you couldn't feel the pain there now, could mean that the gas had affected your nervous system more directly. Not to worry, you're clearly fine."

"Could've done it more gently," Clara muttered but gave a small smile all the same. She sighed. "Still hurts though."

The Doctor knelt in front of her and touched her face again, this time more gently. Clara closed her eyes as he stroked her face softly, drawing soothing circles on her skin where the pain was worst. She let out a soft sigh, enjoying the feel of his hands on her skin.

He kissed her forehead gently as the pain began to ebb away slowly, or maybe it was just that Clara was so starstruck she didn't notice the headache anymore. His soft lips moved to her cheek, kissing her there softly a few times. Clara's heart rate accelerated, the pain in her head now long forgotten. The Doctor trailed small kisses across to her other cheek gently as Clara trembled slightly in anticipation.

He kissed the soft skin just beside her mouth, hands still stroking her hair softly. Before Clara realised what she was doing, she turned her head slightly so that his lips were now directly in front of hers, so close they were almost touching. Clara froze, unknowing as to how he would take her unexpectedly brazen move. She had surprised even herself.

The Doctor hesitated, his lips hovering above hers. Clara was sure he could hear her heart beating now, if he didn't make a move soon it would burst out of her chest. The Doctor slowly closed the space between them, his lips brushing hers gently, hesitantly. Clara reached up to place her hands around his neck gently as the Doctor moved closer, bringing their lips together more firmly and moving his against hers slowly. The kiss was gentle and sincere and Clara couldn't remember ever feeling so complete, so happy. Half of her was almost afraid that this was a dream.

She felt the Doctor smile against her lips before he pulled back to look at her, his perfect blue eyes searching hers. Clara managed a soft smile at the man she loved, her headache gone and forgotten.

"Better?" The Doctor smirked, his blue eyes twinkling with mirth.

"Better."

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**Ayyy hope you liked that one :) If you want, I'll write more :) If you have time, review to let me know what you think, it'd make me smile :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, sorry I haven't updated for a while, had a wee bit of writer's block :P I know it's not Christmas, but I just thought this'd be cute :) I have to say, I kinda ship it... I mean come on, the sass between these two would be unbelievable!**

**Hope you guys like this, please leave a review if you have the time so I know what you think :) And if you have any suggestions or requests that you really want me to do, feel free to tell me and I'd be happy to write something for you! :)**

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"Doctor!"

Clara bounded down the winding corridors excitedly, rushing to find the elusive Time Lord. She poked her head into each door she passed, given that it was open, and eventually discovered the colourful, curly haired Gallifreyan sitting comfotably in an armchair, reading a book. He showed almost no sign of noticing her presence, which was something he did often, although Clara knew he cared. He just wasn't that great at showing it.

She paused in the doorway, leaning agaisnt the frame slightly as she watched him, almost reluctant to break the comfortable silence in the room. She watched as he flicked through the thin pages of the book rapidly with a look of unimpressed disinterest on his face. His eyes darted across the page inhumanly fast, the deep blue eyes that Clara could stare into forever and never get bored.

"Like what you see?"

Clara jumped, snapping out of her thoughts and blushing as the Doctor's lips curved up slightly at the edges causing Clara's heart to flutter. His eyes never left his book, though Clara could tell he wasn't reading anymore.

"So what if I do?" She grinned cheekily, regaining her composure. Remembering why she had seeked his company so hastily in the first place, she skipped over to him, throwing herself on top of him and earning a startled grunt form the Time Lord.

"Clara!"

"Doctor!"

"What's wrong with you now?" The Doctor grumbled though his tone remained light and he shifted slightly so that Clara could position herself more comfortably on his lap. Clara sighed contentedly as he wrapped his arms around her loosely, tossing his unfinished book to the side.

"Doctor," Clara began again, unable to keep the excitment from entering her voice. "Do you know what day it is?"

"I keep no record or concept of time in the Tardis," The Doctor replied heftily, seemingly not understanding what Clara was so excited about. "It's a time machine, my dear, you cannot even distinguish the difference between a Wednesday and a Friday!"

"My phone says different," Clara smirked, pulling it out and waving it in front of his face. She tapped the glass lightly where the date was displayed in the top right hand corner of the glowing screen. She kept her phone with her on the Tardis for exactly this reason: To keep track of the dates so she wouldn't miss out on anything.

"Earth time, which is my time," Clara continued slowly, her smile widening gradually. "It's Christmas Eve!"

"Is that it?" The Doctor replied, raising an unimpressed eyebrow.

"Oi!" Clara frowned at his nonchalant response. "That means it's Christmas tomorrow! Come on, you could at least look a bit enthusiastic! Tis the season to be jolly and all that?"

"Meaningless Earth tradition," The Doctor rolled his eyes, pushing Clara off him gently. "I never was a fan of that particular celebration."

"What?!" Clara gaped after him as he strode across the room to the door and left. She frowned and hurried after him. She would make the Doctor like Christmas if it was the last thing she did. Christmas was her favourite time of year, she was even planning on making a special soufflé for the occasion. And she was adamant to get it right. This was going to be her first Christmas with this Doctor, the Doctor she was, though she had tried to deny it, in love with, and she wanted it to be perfect.

"What do you mean you were never a fan of Christmas?" Clara yelled, following him into the control room where he immediately began fiddling with the console. "Everyone loves Christmas!"

The Doctor turned to face her, giving her a shrewd look. "Are you forgetting that I am not human, Clara?"

Clara sighed. She had to admit, sometimes she did sort of forget that he was an alien. He may be a bit eccentric, but he just seemed so human some of the time. However, she was fully aware of how powerful he could be and how in a way, he was nothing like humans. She had assumed, however, that he would appreciate Christmas anyway.

"Come on, we could even decorate the Tardis!" She gasped in delight, running up to the console and dancing around it. She made elaborate gestures with her hands to symbolise how she wanted everything. "Imagine, tinsel there, baubles there- Doctor! We could get a tree!"

"So you're saying," The Doctor paused, fixing her with a confused look slowly as if trying to find the right words. "That you wish to _decorate_ my spaceship for a meager human celebration?"

"Well, yeah."

"Alright, now I know you're mad. I just wanted to make sure."

"But, Doc!"

"_Please_ refrain from calling me Doc," The Doctor huffed, returning his gaze to the console again.

"Alright, Rainbow Man," Clara smiled with a roll of her eyes. "But come on, please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"Absolutely not."

Clara sighed. She could see she was fighting a losing battle. "It would mean a lot to me, Doc. I mean, Doctor."

The Doctor met her eyes briefly and huffed. His gaze softened as their eyes locked and for a second, Clara was sure that he would give in. She was wrong.

"No, I have more important things to be doing."

Clara scowled and stalked from the room, arms folded in annoyance. She made her way to the library and attempted to concentrate on her favourite book, Pride and Prejudice, but she couldn't absorb the words. She kept thinking of the Doctor, think how much she cared about him and how maybe he didn't care about her at all. Sometimes she just wished she could tell him how she felt, just shout it at him, but she was scared. Scared of rejection, scared he'd through her off the Tardis or something. She sighed, irritated at herself. She prided herself on being brave, why did the thought of admiting her feelings for the Doctor fill her with fear?

She jumped when the ship gave a small jolt and became still, which could only mean that they had landed. She frowned, unaware that the Doctor had plans for today but she knew that he was also utterly unpredictable.

She sat in her chair for a few minutes, refusing to believe that she was sulking but unable to deny it in the end. Eventually, curiousity got the better of her and she went to see what the Doctor was up to.

"Doctor?" She called out hesitantly upon finding the control room empty. "That's weird," She murmured, running a hand across the console softly. The console she yearned to see draped with tinsel and fairy lights.

She jumped as the Tardis doors opened and a rather disheveled looking Doctor stumbled through, carrying multiple plastic bags and looking flustered at the sight of Clara.

"Whatcha got there?" Clara asked curiously, her bad mood forgotten in the company of her favourite Time Lord. She raised an eyebrow. The Doctor never went _shopping._ She had asked him to come with her to buy new shoes once before and he had laughed and said he'd rather attempt to ingest one of her failed soufflés.

"Nothing," The Doctor yelped sharply, attempting to hide the bags behind his back as she drew closer. He looked unbelievably suspicious as he fidgeted from foot to foot. "Just running some errands. Nothing to worry about."

"Is that so?" Clara crossed her arms and rasied an eyebrow with a smirk. "Why can't I see what's in the bags then?"

"Because... Because it's none of your business, that's why," The Doctor replied haughtily, stuffing the bags under the console out of Clara's reach. Clara stifled a laugh as the Doctor attempted to nonchalantly stretch across the console, hiding the bags with his tall frame.

"Clara," He began casually. "I lost my coat in the, er, library, do you think you could find it for me?"

"Doctor, you're wearing your coat," Clara stated slowly, baffled as she eyed up his colourful attire.

"Ah, yes, so I am," The Doctor looked down at himself with a smile. "I meant my other coat. No, my umbrella! My umbrella, that's it, that's what I lost! Go and fetch it for me, Clara, would you?"

"Alright," Clara smiled slowly, giving the Doctor one last suspicious glance before leaving the room. As she left she could have sworn she heard the Tardis doors opening followed by a grunt, a thump and a string a profanities. She giggled to herself, aching to know what the Doctor was up to but also wanting to play along. She hadn't bothered to ask how his umbrella was lost if he knew it was in the library, simply went to retrieve his beloved object, taking her time as she did so.

It wasn't that hard to locate the umbrella, considering that it was all the colours of the rainbow and more. She made a mental note to get the Doctor a packet of skittles as a Christmas present, along with the multicoloured tie she had already bought him. She hoped he would appreciate it, even if he did claim to hate the holiday.

Eventually, she couldn't take it anymore and had to find out what the Doctor was up to. She made her way back to the control room, quickening her pace as she heard a small crash coming from ahead. She ran into the room and stopped at the sight before her, her mouth dropping open in surprise.

The usually bland white console had been draped with tinsel, baubles and different assorted Christmas decorations littered the floor. A tree lay on it's side, the bristles squashed against the floor on one side. In the midst of it all was the Doctor, swearing in Gallifreyan and tangled in a string of twinkling fairy lights, momentarily oblivious to her presence.

A huge grin spread across Clara's face and she tossed the umbrella to the side, giving a squeal and running over to embrace the Doctor.

"Oh!" The Doctor exclaimed as she threw her arms around him, sending them both toppling to the floor as the Doctor's balance was uprooted by the dozens of minature lights wrapped around him.

"Oops," Clara blushed, realising that she was on top of the Doctor, though she couldn't find it in her to move.

"Merry Christmas," The Doctor groaned, glancing at the lights that were now entangling them both. "I wanted to surprise you. I thought I could use some help with the tree though, and I know how much you love to decorate it. Star on the top and everything."

"I knew I could get round you, ya big softy!" Clara grinned, quite comfortable staying where she was. The Doctor didn't seem to mind, and neither did Clara.

"Love is putting the object of your affections' needs before your own," The Doctor replied with a soft smile, his eyes turning gentle. Clara's breath caught in her throat, her heart beginning to hammer in her chest. Had she heard him right? Did he mean he loved her?

Her brain seemed to slow down as she looked into his eyes and all she could think of was him. Before she even realised what she was doing, she pressed her lips to his, one hand resting on his jaw, the other on his chest. The Doctor let out a small oomph of surprise. Clara suddenly came to her senses and pulled away, her face burning. What had she just done? He porbably didn't feel the same way and she had made a fool of herself.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I-"

"Clara, you silly girl," The Doctor chuckled at her flustered reaction. He wriggled one hand free off the string of lights and cupped her face with his palm, stroking it softly before pulling her closer so their lips could meet again. A spark shot through Clara and her stomach exploded with butterflies. They deepened the kiss, Clara wrapped her arms around him as best she could in that perfect moment. She knew, she finally knew how the Doctor cared, that he loved her just as much as she loved him. The moment was perfect, more perfect than the perfect soufflé.

They broke apart, Clara feeling lightheaded. She breathed deeply, aware that she was still lying on top of the Doctor and deciding she didn't want to do anything about it. She was content to stay there all night.

"Guess this is a snogbox after all," She grinned teasingly, running a hand through the Doctor's soft blond curls.

"I told you it's not- All right, fine," The Doctor sighed as he relented and Clara pressed her lips to his again, feeling that this was going to be the perfect Christmas.

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**Ayyy so what did you think? Yay or nay? :D Hope you liked it anyway, thanks so much for reading and thank you so so much for the reviews I've got so far :)**


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